SPHAGNUM MOSS

SPHAGNUM MOSS

Sunday 18 March 2007

The parody of shit and life



Going for a walk in the English countryside seems to bring out a desire to add part of myself to the beautiful scenery.

I like nothing more than to lay a great big shit on top of a rock in the hills or hidden behind a rotting tree stump in a forest.

I suppose I'm lucky in the fact that my turds really are impressive and I feel I should share them with everyone.

It feels right to let them out naturally without all of the contraptions of modern life a comfortable warm seat ,paper impregnated with Aloe Vera ,toilet cleaner and shit brushes and a whole sewage system to transport the feces as far away as is possible.

If we had the technology would we transport our waste to the moon? or create small black holes to take it somewhere far away as long as we can't see it and it doesn't interfere with our life any more. Of course with our narrow minds it wouldn't matter if the turd ended up on some parallel dimension entity's dinner plate.

Animals naturally shit and piss anywhere they please we however would rather fill our toilets with our waste and then pump it into the sea and shit all over the creatures in the sea.

It may be argued that we are above other lifeforms on this planet ,superior in intelligence and act and that shit is an embarrassing filthy thing. I say we are still animals with our squabbling and hierarchic mentality, the young with no pre conditioning accept that shit is a natural part of their life tasting and playing as do the special people in our society who like to make small balls out of their own waste and hide them in strange places.

As soon as we accept that shit and filth is all around us in many forms and that we are not above it, can we progress.
so sayeth moss: chapter 1 the book of moss

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Shit happens Mr Moss, it even hits the fan and gets on the bottom of your shoes when walking in the woodlands.

What are your views regarding shit on your shoes when sleeping rough in the rain, do you put your shitty shoes under the rain sheet, or do you lick them clean because your fire is soaking wet and you can't cook your lentils?

Crombie Master

SPHAGNUM MOSS said...

Shit on your boot is a blessing Sphagnum Moss knows only to well, the unsuspecting step finding the hidden bounty waiting to be savoured, the sweet smell as the inner delight is revealed, we must relish these moments, Tasting is always an option, but take care! not all are as tasty a snack as the smell might indicate. I remember a rather tasteless morsel from my early childhood the "old white crumbly" of canine origin it looked rather tasty to my infant eyes with its mumified white jacket and a rather pungent smell resembling a fine cheese however its taste was very disapointing. If you are stuck in the rain and said lentils cannot be cooked I will be updating my page with further delights of animal and human origin including nutritional information and recipes.

SPHAGNUM MOSS said...

How delightful that royalty has graced my page I have made many a dish from your books and thought that they all tasted like shit anyway.
Glad that I've been an inspiration.

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